What I could really do with - and I mean really do with - is a fat-burning, body-rejuvenating, age-defying, brain restoring, playing field-levelling, life-enhancing, easy-to-swallow, low-cost, highly-effective, financially-enriching, ecstasy-inducing, once-a-year pill that would, in addition, take care of all my fears and woes. And, before you say anything, I already take garlic and turmeric capsules. But I am most definitely open to suggestions.

Now, if such a pill were available, but it turned out that there just happened to be a single major side-effect, would you still take it? A side-effect like . . . let's say for example: your nose might drop off your face or all pleasure and joy might be erased from your existence some six months after taking the pill or - heaven forbid - another new series of Baywatch Remastered might come into being.

Why don't you make yourself comfortable and mull this all-important question over while you read the rest of the blog? It's a quick and easy read and I would welcome your comments, good, bad or indifferent. Although, I have to admit, bad and indifferent are not really my all-time favourite kinds of comments. But if I had to choose, I'd run with indifferent.

Welcome to Grave New World!